You know there is no denying you are pregnant when...

You cry at the end of the Cars movie. (I wish I could say I made that one up but I did. Really.)

You have to change the station when certain songs come on the radio or you become a hazard on the road from the tears overflowing your eyes and tumbling down your cheeks like rain. (Recently it's been this one and ohmygosh don't even get me started on this one .)

You change positions 4564654123123489 times each night and get up to use the bathroom at least twice between midnight and 6:00 a.m.

Your face looks like a pizza even though you wash it twice a day, drink tons of water and use Proactiv

There is a consistent gap between the bottom of your shirt and the top of your pants (this is especially sad when you're wearing maternity shirts you thought looked big on the hanger...and you still have 70 something days to go).

You are thrilled to make brownies for your husband late at night (so you can eat them too).

Your feet look like THIS at the end of the day (and good LAWD do you need a pedicure):

Looking forward to having my baby shower tomorrow and feeling like the glorious princess of fertility that I am....HA.

Hope you all have a great weekend.




the details

Slowly but surely the details are coming together for the nursery. It has been a lot of fun, but a lot of work too (and not just for us -- Poppy was kind enough to come over here and take down the fan, put up the chandelier and the shelf and shampoo the carpet for me...I told you he's too much!).

I still have to figure out exactly what to hang where and get some window treatments up, but the main part of the room is taken care of and it feels good to know that the bulk of the work is over with.

I did purchase some small butterflies for the mural, but I am still not sure if I want to just place them on the wall or have them hang from the ceiling. Any thoughts on that?

I know I probably put way too much thought into it but I love putting the details together...



In about 75 days (give or take), there will be "Big L" and "Little L"

Yes, we've made a decision.

We're naming her Lauren.

I am thrilled to refer to her as something other than "baby girl"...

and I can't wait to see that sweet face and call her by her name.


Can't believe I am posting this...

Melanie's shower was this weekend. As usual it was great to see her and spend time together, but bittersweet knowing I will not get to see her for a while (she's due in just about 7 weeks!).

We got pictures together just before my camera battery died. I still can't believe I am sharing this picture, but it makes me laugh and hey, it is what it is.

She's due April 13 and I am due May 12, but it amazes me how different we look (and how huge I am for being a month behind her!)

Mel, miss you already.




It is just about the only time we get cold weather here in Florida, but I would say that is February's only downfall.

This month has always been one of my favorite times of the year - and through the years we've made a lot of memories in this month. Ryan proposed on my birthday in 2003 and it was when we got the call that we were going to be parents in 2006. So, today, feeling a little nostalgic, I decided to share some of my favorite February photos from the past couple of years.



It does not get much better than having someone there to help you whenever you need it, but to have someone like that who gives and gives and expects nothing in return, well, it is beyond comprehension and such a blessing.

"Poppy" has done so much I don't even know how to thank him anymore.

Among other things:

He has spent an entire day here steam cleaning and shampooing my carpets and furniture.

He has fixed and replaced and put up countless things in this house including the crisis-inducing issues of our broken A/C and fridge this year.

Last week when I had to go get blood work done I came home to the carpet being shampooed in the baby's room after he had moved all of Logan's furniture and set up his room for us.

Today he came over and hung up the chandelier in the baby's room, hung up three shelves, and replaced one ceiling fan with another.

In short, he's a great guy and I just want to say THANK YOU to him for all he has done. It is very much appreciated!!!!!!

And not to be overlooked, thank you to "Mimi" as well who always takes care of Logan here and helps Poppy too.

We are very blessed!!! Thank you!!!

p.s. Logan is now registered for pre-school! He'll start in August and we could not be more thrilled.


happy valentine's day and all that mushy stuff...

My sister helped Logan make cards for Ryan and I for Valentine's Day. They are precious and it just reminded me how the simple things are what mean the most.

I hope you don't get caught up in the hype and spend $150 on roses...or feel like you have to find the "perfect" card...or even go to a fancy dinner.

We'll be celebrating our day with breakfast in bed (heart-shaped pancakes), handmade cards, and a good book for each of us to read.

If you're up to making something reallllly yummy, make these delicious brownies for someone you care about!

Spread the love!



Logan Need

I went to junior high with Logan Need. He was the type of person you make friends with immediately...he was easy-going, fun, and made everyone laugh. I honestly don't even remember how we met - he was much smarter than I and in all AP classes so I am certain it wasn't there. Regardless, he was a good friend to me. I was still pretty much a new kid in town after moving to Orange Park the year before (starting the 6th grade at an elementary school where everyone had known each other their whole life and then transitioning to a new junior high school pretty much sucked), but he always went out of his way for me to introduce me to people or invite me to lunch.

Even when he moved away, we kept in touch through letters and phone calls - he actually kept in touch with everyone, and at any moment someone you knew could tell you what Logan had been up to. We traded school photos and discussed what we'd been up to and somehow it was like he'd never really left town.

After graduation, Logan moved to Gainesville to go to UF. It was a dream of his to go there and he loved it. It was after his move back down here that we became even closer friends. He'd spend weekend nights at my parent's house and enjoy a good home-cooked meal by my mom, watch movies, and even once wrecked his car in the driveway. Our home became a place he could visit anytime he wanted, and he became like family to us. I visited UF with him and went to football games and met his fraternity brothers and helped (as best I could) study for tests...

And then one day everything changed. He woke up and couldn't get out of bed. He was taken to the hospital, tests were done and he was told the worst possible news -- it was cancer.


A tumor in his neck.

How do you wake up one morning to have your life changed so suddenly? I remember hearing the news and feeling completely numb...I never knew anyone - especially so young - to have cancer. What did it mean for him?

But if you knew Logan, you knew he'd keep on smiling. You knew he'd get through it. You knew he would never change, never stop making YOU laugh, never feel sorry for himself. He'd make phone calls from his bedside, write emails and letters even though he was in horrible pain or miserably sick...and when he was too sick, his mom or dad wrote emails to his friends to fill us in...always positive, always hopeful, always a reminder that Logan was not about to give up.

I wish I could say that something changed, but the cancer never stopped. It was this time several years ago that he lost his battle and our lives forever changed.

My family and I went to his funeral in Gainesville. There I saw people just like me who knew him since junior high...all these years he kept in touch with them just like he did with me. It was then that I really saw how he had touched so many others -- some in a short amount of time, some he'd known for years, but we were all affected the same way. We felt as though a part of us was gone.

So many times I think of him and wish I could pick up the phone and call. I wish that he and Ryan could have had a relationship (I am still amazed at how they are so much alike). I wish I could hug him and just simply tell him thank you -- thank you for making me a better person for knowing you.

And so in 2006 when Ryan and I welcomed a baby into this world there was never a question in my mind what he would be named. It was my honor for knowing Logan Need and it would be an honor to use his name. I hope one day I can explain to our Logan just how much his name means to me (and my family) - and what it is like to know someone who can change so many lives in such a short amount of time here on earth.

Logan Need is just one of the reasons I try to cherish each day - and to keep a memory of the little everyday moments. He is a reminder to me that even when you dont think they are, people are watching you and observing the life you live...and maybe in some small way they are inspired by the way you react, the way you handle things. I certainly don't have the positive attitude he always had and I know I don't have the impact he had on the lives of others, but at the very least I am a mama to someone and a wife to another, and I hope I am doing my best at making them happy.

It is all that I can do -- keep going, keep trying, keep thinking of ways to be a better me and live my life one day at a time, treasuring each one for all that it is and all that it can be.


Disney World

[the only family photo taken all day]
[the only photo of me all day...there is no ignoring the giant belly]

Daddy and Logan take a moment to chill out together at the playground

Ryan was thrilled Logan was tall enough to finally ride the Barnstormer

My kid has perfected the art of the cheesy smile (literally...he says "cheeeeeeese!")

Looking for Mama just before the teacups (pretty much his favorite ride)

I can't wait to ride in the racecars!



yeah so I had a "moment" at Disney...one of those moments that just out of the blue it really hits you and you're in public so you're thinking do not let one single tear fall 'cause you know if you let one loose, you'll break into that ugly cry and be completely embarrassed...yeah. that was me.

I watched Logan play on the playground and I was overwhelmed - at the thought of myself growing older, the thought of my little boy never being this little again, the idea of how one day I was just a person and the next day I was a mom - a person with more purpose than I could ever imagine. Now here I am again and I get to experience it all over again. Amazing.

I know some of it is the emotional roller coaster that comes with pregnancy, but watching the joy in his face that day was priceless. I felt like he really "got it" - the whole magical aspect of Disney - and I loved to see how excited he was over EVERYTHING. (When do we lose that magic by the way?) I would have paid anything for that day, for those little moments, for our last trip as a little family of three. The park was crowded but the weather was perfect and I had an amazing birthday just relaxing and enjoying it all with my boys.

We stayed the weekend with Michael & Heather Wright, who treated us fabulously and cooked delicious meals for us. Thank you so much guys.

On Sunday morning Logan woke up with a rash all over his face and neck. We thought maybe it was an allergic reaction (although he's not allergic to anything we're aware of) and gave him Benadryl but he didn't seem to get better.

I did some research last night and it appeared he may have had Fifth Disease. Now Fifths is more of a virus than anything and it does go away, but it is dangerous to pregnant women. It was then that it really hit me -- I have TWO children to worry about. TWO - and one of those I can't see or have any control over at the moment.

As of this morning the rash was still there and the fear in me started to take over.

We went to the pediatrician's office and sure enough, they told me he has Fifth Disease. It was a relief to hear he'll be fine, that it will clear up in a few days. I have to get some blood work done, but considering I am now 7 months along, I am much "safer" than we would have been in the first trimester.

It's been a whirlwind of a day, but Logan has had me laughing and his attitude is great and I am very grateful for that.

Things can always be worse, this I know. You just have to take in what you've got and say Thank You Lord it was this...just this small, simple thing. So I'm doing that today...being grateful for our health, for memories and special moments, for good friends and family, and for a life better than anything I would have ever imagined for myself.

Pictures from the trip coming soon. I'm going to play cars with the munchkin.



thank you

In between the packing, the laundry, the delivery from the UPS man of the crib, the cleaning and the tissue-grabbing, nose wiping, disinfecting, and the stressing out (hey, just being honest), I went to the mailbox...and in the mail were cards. Lots of birthday cards and wishes and sweet comments and simple, kind thoughts that overwhelmed me.

The older I get, the more I feel like birthdays are like New Year's Day- a fresh start, a hope for the future, a glace back at the past

and so today I just want to say thank you - to all of you - for the love and the friendship and the putting up with me yet another year

I am blessed beyond measure. Thank you for that reminder today.



recent randomness

This is so random but I feel the need to post.

How've you been my friends? I feel like I am coming out of a fog.

I think the worst of my cold or sinus infection or whatever it was I had is over and I can breathe again (sort of)

I want to send a shout out to the helpful pharmacy guy at Target tonight who let me buy a whole five pills of Claritin-D since I was rejected for the 30 pack. It still amazes me that some moron out there ruined my (*and everyone else with sinus problems') ability to purchase a decent amount of decongestant at one time. So, I continue to go to the store every few days and purchase whatever amount the government allows me.

Tonight Logan is at Mimi and Poppy's house and Ryan is at a concert and I have a rare evening to myself. It is strange to have the house so quiet...even the dogs aren't barking and that is odd for this household. I miss the kiddo and want to kiss his sweet little face. Today when Ryan was leaving for work (and had already kissed us goodbye), L said "Daddy!!!" as Ryan was going out the door and so Ryan turns around and says "yeah buddy?" and Logan says to him (very serious) "I wove you." I melted then and there. So stinkin' cute.

We had a playdate with Russell and Natalie today. Thank you Calascione children for putting up with my child constantly stealing toys from you. I promise we're working on the sharing concept. And thank you Katrina for bringing delicious pasta and cheesecake (ah...she's the best).

I spent this evening with a pumpkin spice latte (still obsessed with those things and forever grateful Starbucks is still making them) shopping at the Town Center. It's a little annoying how big that place is (and having to drive from one end to the other), but it was a nice night to myself and I managed to control my spending (Ryan will be proud).

I did buy my bridesmaid dress and took that home this evening. Certainly the most expensive maternity dresses I will ever wear and purchase, but I must say at least it is pretty (and I mean that...my sister has good taste fortunately).

We recently purchased the crib and changing table and over the weekend we (I) finished the stripes on Logan's wall, so his room is just about ready to move the furniture into. He seems excited about it (and asked us several times if Santa will be able to find him there in his new room) but I do have some fear that he will be a little scared to sleep in there at first. (In his current room he still stays up "reading" or playing cars in the bed until 11 or so. It's crazy how much that kid fights sleep)...

Tomorrow I face the dreaded glucose tolerance test, which is basically two hours of sitting around waiting to be poked and prodded with a needle and then being told my blood sugar is too high. I failed it with Logan and then had to do the REALLY long one (which was about as much fun as it sounds), so I am praying that I have better luck this time around. I am looking forward to getting to read my book though...that being the only positive thing. I am sure baby girl is going to do some serious gymnastics after I drink that sugary stuff, she is already a hyper one as far as I can tell.

We are headed to Disney this weekend and staying with our friends Michael and Heather, who have graciously opened their house to us for the weekend. I will be 27 on Saturday and I can't imagine a better place to spend my birthday than in the happiest place on earth with my boys.

Hope you all are having a nice week.