rough day

simply defined as:

having a bad case of mastitis [complete with chills/fever and body aches] while holding a fussy, squirmy three month old who can't quite take a bottle without the assistance of another person while your almost-three-year-old casually rides into the room on his toy fire truck NAKED and proclaims "MAMA! I POO-POO ON MY FIRETRUCK!"



At three months:

You have full rosy lips and a sweet smile.

You weigh 14.5 pounds (just weighed today at your therapy session).

You love to hold your head up, even when you can rest it (the one that gets me the most is the car seat -- I think you are afraid you will miss something).

You sleep like a rock at night as long as you are wrapped, but as soon as a hand can poke out you wake up.

You giggle, sigh, and coo at us a lot. You moan and coo when you are falling asleep.

Your brother seems to fascinate you the most and you are incredibly understanding of his constant desire to dangle toys in your face.

He talks to you in a sweet high-pitched voice and kisses you often. When people ask your name he will tell them "that's my baby sisser."

You still have those stork bites on the back of your neck and I am wondering when they are finally going to go away.

You love to be on the changing table and having your diaper changed. You still love bath time and hate getting out of the bath.

I am planning to get your ears pierced this weekend - and although I know the pediatrician said this is the best time, I still cringe at the very idea of anything that will cause you the slightest amount of pain. I try to remind myself that mine were done at your age and not only do I not remember it, I absolutely loved wearing and picking out earrings as a little girl...and I hope you do too.

You are still a very laid-back baby and cry when you are very tired or hungry. I've finally established the difference between your cries and it thrills me that we're at a point where I [typically] know what you need.

You still love that pacifier and tend to want it the most when we're riding in the car. When you cry out Logan will tell you "we awmost der, baby sisser, it's ok."

You are loved more than you can imagine.

Although it makes me sad to think you are yet another month older ALREADY, it has been a month of joys and triumphs - and I am so proud of you.



rascal flatts

Corey, Stephanie and I went to the Rascal Flatts concert last night...

Yes, we are those people. The ones who take pictures anywhere there is a Gator involved...although we were trying to figure out exactly what this was...he appeared to be a sea turtle with a gator tail...? Still confused about that one.

...despite the fact that I logged on for tickets exactly three seconds after they went on sale, we got the "best available" seats in the nosebleeds.
To my surprise the seats actually gave us a pretty good view and we were only one row away from the bottom of the balcony.
it is hard to get decent pictures in a stadium with crazy flashing lights...
(Taken during "My Wish" - my personal favorite song of the night because it brought back memories of singing this song to Logan as a baby. Corey reminded me that at the same time Kalen was leaving for Korea and she thinks of him every time she hears this song).

Just a few of the songs they played: Bless the Broken Road (how can you not love that song?); Fast Cars and Freedom; I Melt; Prayin' for Daylight; What Hurts the Most; Me and My Gang; Bob that Head; Still Feels Good; Love Who you Love (another one of my favorites); Here Comes Goodbye (which also made me think of Logan because he busted out singing this song last Friday at McDonald's with Katrina and the kids and she looked and me -- "HE KNOWS THE WORDS?!?"...and I admit, it is pretty funny to watch); and Summer Nights

At the end they brought in Darius Rucker (who opened) and sang "Hold My Hand" and of course the audience had a good time with that one. But the best part was the fact that they ended with Logan's favorite song ever (because it is in the movie CARS): "Life is a Highway"....and at that moment I wished that he was with me because I know he would have loved seeing the cars and license plates up on the screen...if you know anything about Logan, you know his love for anything related to cars exceeds above all else :)

Hope you all have a nice weekend!


p.s. Got a couple of emails that the comments are not working - sorry about that. I've been having some trouble with blogger myself.



This is my assistant, Lauren. She is quite the little helper in the kitchen. Yes, it's true that for the most part she sits in her Bumbo seat and grunts and coos when she likes or dislikes an item, but this is helpful nonetheless. Yesterday she helped me prepare a pot roast (she told me to hold the salt, a wise decision as it turns out) and today we are making chicken n' dumplins.

If you have any recipes you'd like to share, please do! We are always looking for yummy things to make. I think I have been in a little slump lately, making the same things over and over. So please, share anything you enjoy making and eating with us.

[...and the truth is, I think Lauren is going to be a lot like her mama with a serious love for good food. I swear her eyes widen whenever food is around, her arms start to flail and she makes excited noises. It is quite a site.]


love letter to my babies

Dear Logan and Lauren,

Today is, by any account, just another Tuesday. But I, ever the sentimentalist, felt the need to document a few things.

Logan, today you went to the zoo with Grammy and Grandaddy (your great-grandparents). Let me remind you that Grammy and Grandaddy taking you to the zoo (in this 100 degree July heat no less) is like Mama running a 10k marathon with my gimp foot - incredibly ambitious to say the least.

They told me you were "good as gold" and Grammy said that you ate every single bite of the six lunch items I packed for you and then proceeded to ask her if you could then "eat a happy meal." You rode the train twice. You played at the water park and soaked Grammy - only in the pants area and boy was she ever thankful for the way that looked to the general public. They told you that you could get something - anything - from the gift shop and you chose four small rubber snakes, which you have placed on every imaginable surface since you got home...including the bushes outside "to scare Daddy."

My heart never feels so full as it does to see you love your family so much. When they brought you home you looked up at Grammy and said to her, "I so gwad you came to see me" and said to Grandaddy "I see you later doodlebug!" (Doodlebug is his nickname for you).


Yesterday we made our weekly trip to the library. We tried to make it before the daily rain shower but no such luck. The sky opened up the moment we left the house and I was frantically pulling out the giant stroller from the trunk with my umbrella tucked under my chin while sheets of rain soaked us in the parking lot. You insisted on pointing out that it was "BUNDERIN AND WITE'NIN' MAMA!!!" and I was well aware buddy, I promise I was doing the best I could.

You weren't too happy that on this particular occasion I had to look up my book (usually I know just what I am going to get but hadn't remembered to check my list before I left the house HEAVEN FORBID) and you were quick to tell everyone in the library that "I NEED A' GO TO MY NEIGHBORHOOD!" Why in the world you started calling the children's section your "neighborhood" I don't know but regardless I am sure someone thought I was crazy and evil for making you do something you didn't want to do.

We finally made it to where my book was located, in a quiet corner by the large fireplace where there were lots of people who looked like they were doing important research or writing their dissertation on molecular structures or finding a cure for cancer. This is precisely when Lauren decided it was time to scream AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS even though we go to the library EVERY WEEK AND SHE NEVER MAKES A SOUND. (I should have known my time was coming). I picked her up in an effort to calm her and you apparently thought this was a good time to start knocking books off the shelf. Someone came and asked me if I needed help (i.e., please leave, you disheveled woman!) and I grabbed my book, smiled politely and we ran over to the safe haven of your neighborhood. Or so I thought.

Lauren's screams were getting louder...to the point where all the other kids ran to their mommies and said things like "Mommy, Mommy, that baby's crying is hurting my ears!"

I will spare you the details but after 20 minutes of incessant crying, I decided it was time to go. So we checked out our books and went through the double doors outside as you pointed to them and said "OPEN SESAME!" It was precisely at this moment that Lauren simply burped, farted and passed out asleep.

Today you somehow managed to dump the salt container all over the dining room table and make drawings in it, all within the whole minute and thirty seconds I took to go to the bathroom. I try to remind myself that sometimes we have to learn by doing and maybe one day you will be my Picasso and make your father and myself lots and lots of money...but for now, now you just go to time out in your room where you are probably already planning your next plan of attack in Operation: Drive Mama Nuts.
Lauren, you have been doing so well with your bottles and I am overjoyed to see you staying calm for most of your feedings, even with a regular bottle. Last night was a struggle though. I held you and shhhh'd until my lips were numb. I rocked you and talked to you and put my nose in your neck (something that somehow usually seems to calm you) but you were having none of it. I am still not sure how but I managed to stay calm and you finally did the same, falling into a deep sleep - the kind where your little lips form an "o" shape and it is almost impossible not to smile at how cute you look.
When I had started your routine it was bright outside and by the time you were calm there was barely any light coming in the window. I wondered how long I had been there trying to calm you and whether or not you would sleep peacefully tonight with your belly only half-full.
It was then that I thought about how little you were in my arms and that some day you were going to be too big to even think about fitting there. I thought about how the chair I was rocking you in would be the same place we would read bedtime stories and sing lullabies like we do every night with Logan. I thought about how much the time has flown since you have been born...and how one day I will wake up and you will be starting school...driving a car...leaving for college

...and then I just about had a meltdown and had to stop thinking :)


Logan and Lauren,

I hope you know you will always mean the world to me - that even though sometimes I am the crazed lunatic you will have to claim as your mother, I love you. I love you more than anything in this world and I would do anything for you.
Thank you for being mine...for making me laugh every day...for making each and every trip to the grocery store, to Target, to the library an adventure. I am happier today than I ever imagined I could be. You give me purpose. You put up with me and all my faults and help me to learn how to be a better person. I am learning to be more patient, more kind, more of an example to others. I am more mindful of what I say, what I do, and how I do it. I am far from perfect, but you embrace me as though that will never matter.

How did I get so lucky?


Sunday Fun Day

We went to the Oakleaf pool yesterday with Corey and Matt. For the first day in what seems like forever it did not rain. Even Lauren enjoyed her time in the pool before quickly getting back to her beauty sleep.

Meanwhile, Logan discovered the water guns that Corey and Matt brought and decided he would learn how to use them:

His first couple of attempts were less than successful

So he decided to let me show him how...

...which led to squirting himself in the eyeball
*(meanwhile someone else is shooting at him as well)
Hope you all had a nice weekend!


pool time

Thursdays are swimming lessons/pool days at Nana (and Papa)'s, but there was a good chance of rain again today. Normally I'd say we could risk it because in Florida in the summer time there could be a 70% chance of rain and somehow it will blow over (or there could be a 10% chance and it will pour...sometimes I wonder what it is exactly that meteorologists actually DO).

It has rained here every day for almost two weeks and I knew it was going to rain today simply because we wanted to be outside.

So, we decided we'd get out in the backyard early and try to beat the clouds. We made it until about 10:30 and the dark clouds started rolling in...but we still managed to have fun :)

ms. thang, sunbathing
can't resist those feet (still not sure where she got them)
(singing to me)
( the colors were all wonky on this one for some reason) practicing our tummy time
Logan splashed water all over Lauren somehow (even though she was a good five feet away) but she slept right through it (she must be tired from waking me up at 5:30 this morning).



[eating spaghetti-o's earlier this week - always without a shirt]

I hugged Ryan and said to him "Logan, I love your Daddy!" Logan then said to me: "and I love Mama and Daddy...sometimes."

When we were walking to our car after church on Sunday we passed a stop sign. He stopped walking, looked at me and said, "Das a red stop sign mama! We need 'a stop!"

Sunday night he said the dinner prayer: "Dear Jesus, thank you for my dinner...and thank you for comin' to my house."

When I told him for the second time not to do something he looked up at me with a very serious face and said, "yeah, I better listen mama."

I asked him "what did I tell you about that?" (meaning not to put his blanket on the floor) and he whispered to me, "Don't wake baby sisser up!"

I kiss this kid all the time and he's finally gotten into kissing me back (something you wait a LONG time for as a mama). Sometimes he doesn't put much into it so I will say to him..."aww, give me a GOOD one." So yesterday he wrapped his arms around my neck, kissed me on the lips and said "mama, give me a BAD one."

The first thing he said to me this morning was "Mama! I want Santa to come to my berfday."


Monday randomness

Just an ordinary Monday yesterday. Somehow the days just fly by around here and before I know it, night has come and I realize it is time for bed.

We made our weekly trip to the library...where Logan left his cup behind and was devestated (I guess we'll be going back today to get it).

Cody looked at me pathetically while I got some work done at the computer.

(He was napping until I took the picture).

I am in the middle of cleaning out my closet, which is where my scrapbook supplies are now living, so it was time for a major clean up. My solution was to dump it all in the dining room and start sorting. Logan was really interested in all the stickers and every time I turned my back he was stealing one from me. (Didn't really think that one through).

Lauren had THREE diaper blow outs yesterday. I finally resorted to sticking her in pants and a t-shirt so I could just change one half of her.

Poppy planted a red rocket for us in the backyard last week.
We've had rain every day so Ryan hasn't been able to mow the yard. He'd probably kill me if he knew anyone saw our yard looking this way.

It is getting ready to bloom and I am super excited.

the hot pink one is in full bloom right now.
I even managed to sneak into Logan's room and get a picture of him napping. (blasted flash).
...and even Cadie managed to sit still for two seconds so I could take her picture. She spent most of the day hiding because by the afternoon the skies were dark and well, even the possibility of rain scares her.
How's your week so far?


This morning was the first time we have been back to church since Lauren was born. I have decided we will have to start getting up at 6 a.m. to be there at 10.

For the second day in a row she slept for 12 hours, (until 8:30!), and because we really didn't think that her getting up at 8:30 would happen again we didn't set an alarm. (Because most days she is our alarm clock, typically she is up at 6:30.)

Her new bottles are helping, but they take a LONG time for her to feed. By 9:30 she had only taken in about three ounces.

Then Logan was walking and Cadie got excited (over getting her morning milkbone) and tripped him, causing him to fall flat on his face.

It was a crazy morning to say the least and on the way there Logan started crying, afraid that we were just dropping him off at church and leaving him there abandoned. He even told us he wanted to go home so he could poo-poo in his potty (HA).

But somehow we made it - although we were 30 minutes late and Logan and Lauren both went into the service with us - and it was totally worth it.

Now we are home and they are napping, and the house is quiet. Just thought I would share a couple of pictures I got before we left the house.

Hope you are having a restful Sunday as well.

God so holy and true
I am captured by you and all of the things you do
Things too wonderful for me
Things that set this heart free...


Lauren has this little thing she likes to do when you feed her (and things aren't going too bad for her at the time) -- she wraps her little hand around your finger and will hold onto it until she is done. Silly as it may sound, sometimes I feel like it is her way of telling me it is OK. That everything is going to work out, we just need to hold on and work together.

Today we went to Nemours to see the feeding specialist. First things first, her issues are not serious (they warned ahead of time that they may have had to do x-rays and barium testing if they felt it was a more serious problem). She IS gaining weight, which was a little concern they had but we've been doing the recommendations our pediatrician suggested and she is up to 13 pounds, which is great.

And so, as it turns out, this might be the solution to our little problem:

This is a "special needs feeder" [also known as the Haberman feeder] and it worked wonders for Miss Lauren today.

I had feared we would go and Little L would be perfect and they would think I was crazy. But instead she did just what they needed to see - squirming, crying, gagging, etc. In fact, she did every possible thing I could have asked for them to see except spit milk out the sides of her mouth (which is pretty common for her).
After lots of questions and feeding her from her regular bottle, they suggested we offer her this bottle...and although she gagged on the giant nipple at first (heck, look at that thing), she closed her eyes, her arms and legs relaxed, and she just about fell asleep and sucked the bottle without any problem.
I was proud of her. So, so proud.
So now we just take it a day at a time and see how things go. If insurance will approve it, we will be going back on a weekly basis, and then a monthly basis through the first year of her life. It may be a bit of a process, but I am thankful we have the help - and that she is handling it all so well, holding my hand to remind me that it's going to be ok :)


conversation with Logan

Verrry long story short, our appointment with the feeding specialist was moved to Thursday.

Thursdays are typically the day we go to Nana's for swimming lessons, so today at lunch I was explaining to Logan that we were not going to Nana's house this Thursday (which we weren't going to do anyway since there are thunderstorms in the forecast all week and my mom just found out she has shingles...).

The conversation went something like this:

Logan: "...but...Mama, I need 'a go 'wimmin."

Me: "It's going to be storming on Thursday. We can't swim when it is storming outside. Besides, Nana is sick and we need to let her rest."

Logan: "oh no. We need 'a go check on her Mama. We need a' go check on her or she will blow away."

July 4th

We went to Crescent Beach in St. Augustine on the 4th. You can drive on the beach there and it makes it much easier to carry the kabillion things you need with kids.
We spent a lot of time here on vacation when I was a kid (we stayed in a condo here every year for almost as long as I can remember) and I love seeing our kids enjoy it as well

(Lauren crashed out most of the time, napping in her bouncy seat)

My parents always bring a large tent and it appears that this idea is really picking up - there were tents all up and down the beach this year (and even a few trucks with grills in the back. seriously.)

Corey and Matt came along and we all brought food ('cause you have to have a lot of food to celebrate the 4th, right?)

Logan loves the beach. LOVES it. We spent most of the day under the cover but he didn't want to come out of the warm water of a small wading pool nearby.

(Finally getting to play with those Thomas sand toys from last summer)
and of course it wouldn't be the 4th without a shot of Logan eating watermelon..

We spent the evening in, watching our neighbor's hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks go up into the air. Logan loved them and has been asking every night since where the fireworks have gone.

Hope you all had a wonderful 4th as well.

p.s. Lauren's appointment with the feeding specialist is later this morning. Hope to get some good news and positive feedback.