Miss L had her tubes put in her ears today.
After many many earaches,
it was time.

And even though we got her up at 6:30 this morning
and she could not eat or drink anything
until after her procedure at about 10,
she was a champ
and she handled it so much better than I imagined.

And I have a little confession to make...
This little tiny surgery didn't seem so scary until we were there...
sitting in that room with our little girl in that big hospital bed,
filling out the paperwork and telling nurses, then the anesthesiologist, then the surgeon...
a thousand times it seems we had to say
she's not allergic to anything that we know of
she does not have a problem with anesthesia that we know of
she does not have any other health issues, heart conditions, asthma...that we know of
and you kind of wonder...but what if she does?

I cannot imagine those parents whose children have been through tons of testing and procedures and hospital stays,
who have to deal with problem after problem
who have to watch their child suffer
and cry
while they answer question after question
and deal with the not knowing...
because when it was all done
I watched as they carried her tiny little body onto the bed in the recovery room
and in those few minutes it took to give her oxygen
and wake her back up
just watching her lay there so still and listen to that heart monitor beep...
to listen to Ryan ask
"how long should it take her to wake up???"
it was scary.

But then she stirred at the sound of our voices -
and she woke up without so much as a tear.
She hugged her Daddy and her blanket and closed her eyes
and I took a huge breath.
a really, really huge breath of relief.
And then she sat in Daddy' lap and ate a banana in the recovery chair
while Dumbo played in the background...
and I felt kinda silly for being so worried
{and I feel really silly writing it down because it seems so overly dramatic right now}
but even though it was just a short scary moment,
I really just dont want to forget what that was like
to remember just how much I love her.


do you ever...

Do you ever look at your kids and think "Those beautiful people came from my DNA?!?"

Me too.


three hundred sixty something days ago...

I say it all the time but they grow up too fast.
They really, really do.

this time last year he was almost three...now he's almost four

 I am really struggling with the fact that he is so much more of a big boy than a toddler.
At this time last year he was still wearing pull-ups, now he wants to change underwear three times a day.
He loves to watch movies and read books and his attention span is much longer than it used to be.
He can ride a bike, dance (used to be he could only spin in circles), and climb into his big boy bed.
He says the prayers at dinner, sings songs, and talks constantly.
He loves to be my helper, loves to tell me what I need to do ("Dat is heaby so you need to be careful").
He fights me on what he is going to wear ("mama, dat does not match").
He has an opinion on everything.
He is incredibly independent yet sometimes he struggles to be left alone.
In some ways he is so different now and yet in others, he is exactly the same:
He is hilariously funny. He has a memory you would not believe. He LOVES cars.

It has been a somewhat challenging year for both of us.
Everyone talks about the "terrible twos"
but two was a great age for him.
Three was the age of independence.
He was starting pre-school and making new friends...
he was learning to communicate more, but listening less...
he was learning about consequences and doing the right thing
yet he didn't always fully understand the concept.
I was learning about discipline and balancing my time between two kids
I was learning more about being patient,
about potty training
and accidents
and time management
and new stresses I'd never thought of.
I was learning about what life with a toddler is really like.

And yet somehow together we have gotten to this point -
and I think we're both better for it.
I will never know it all or really have the whole "mom" thing down
but I know he knows I love him
and sometimes after he's been in trouble he will say
"Mama, will you cuddle wif me?"
and it melts my heart...
because I struggle with this parenting thing
of what is right and wrong and how it all works
I struggle with him growing up and finding his own way
I struggle with teaching him how to be the older sibling
and yet helping him understand I was one, so I get it.
it's hard having so much expected of you
and having someone looking up to you.

So for the most part?
 I hug him a lot
and I tell him I love him. A lot.
so that I know he knows I do.
with everything that I am,
I love him.
and I really think that at the end of the day,
that is all that really matters.



My realtor called a couple of days ago to say we'd be having a realtor caravan today from 10-12.
And then he called late yesterday to say we had potential buyers coming to look at 9:30, before the realtor caravan...
and so today we headed out of our house by 8:30, our breakfasts packed up...
me, two kids half-dressed, bags packed with two dogs whining in the back of the SUV...
I was feeling pretty good about the fact that I had gotten up at 7 and managed to have a clean house and everyone in one place, headed out the door when I wanted to
so we got to my parent's house and had breakfast with my mom
and we played a little game of go fish (all the while discovering that it is literally go fish for the cards when you play with toddlers)
and then we headed out to our friends the Calascione's for a much-needed playdate
and we stayed until about 12:30 when Lauren was showing signs of passing out from exhaustion
(and my poor mom with her broken hand was watching FOUR dogs today so I didnt want to leave her babysitting for too long)
so I drove through McDonald's drive-thru for two happy meals and realized I must have left Lauren's cup behind...
and that is pretty much when my day started to go downhill
the realtor called and said he had another potential buyer wanting to come -- between 1:30 and 3:30
so much for my plans of getting Lauren home for a nap...
so we went back to my parent's house
two whiney, hungry kids in the back seat begging for their food
and I drove through the storm of the century
and unloaded the car in the rain, four trips no less...
but we made it inside and all four dogs huddled around me like I was their only shelter
Lauren proceeded to torment the dogs (she looooooves dogs -- a little too much I think)
and Logan asked me every five seconds when it was going to stop raining
so I put in a movie and attempted to watch it with them
and that was a joke
so after an hour I gave up and decided we'd pack up since the storm had turned to more of a drizzle
but in the process of doing that, someone had a diaper blow out,
so while I went out to the car to grab the bag I had just loaded up (in the rain)
and my dog had a freak-out moment (she thought I was leaving her-threw herself against the glass door)
Lauren dumped the dog bowl of water on herself
while soaked from head to toe she then slipped in the water and hit her face on the tile floor
two other dogs were wrestling and barking at each other
and Logan
well Logan just kinda stood there like
I have no idea what just happened
and all I could think was
please Lord,
let my house sell today.


Logan spent the night with my grandparents last night and today they took him to the zoo. He has told me all afternoon about all the fun that they had and the things that they did...

Later this afternoon he noticed Lauren had a little scratch on the back of her leg and he gasped -- "oh no mama, Lauren has a big boo-boo!"

I went over to Lauren and looked at the scratch and asked her (or asked myself really), "well how did that happen?"

Logan looks at me seriously and says "hmmm, maybe it's her didebedes" (diabetes).


24 hours later...

here's what I've discovered:

Having four kids can...
make your house a little crazier,
your patience a little shorter
(and I think those two are the most obvious)
it makes bathroom breaks and phone calls much harder,
it makes your food supply dwindle,
accidents are more probable
and tattling is more prominent
it makes hot days hotter (I swear it was 110 today)
and the toy you dont have more desirable
it makes picking just one movie almost impossible
it makes Lauren a real, live babydoll
it is a little more chaos than usual,
but man,
these kids
these kids are the best...
and yes it gets a little rowdy sometimes,
but watching them...
play together
and laugh together
and read together (be still my beating heart)
to chase each other through the sprinklers
to have competitions to see who can be the best eater
and even argue a little and then say "I'm sorry"
to watch four kids ranging from one to almost nine
love on each other
tickle each other
hug each other
and play together...
it is a reminder to me that even in the craziness,
these days of their youth are precious
they want to grow up so fast
to fight for their own independence
or the way they do things...
I just want to squeeze them
tell them to slow down and love this...
love every second of being a kid
of playing together
sharing secrets in the dark at bedtime
giggling and giving away their spot during hide and seek...
splashing in the bath,
and even the madness that is brushing their teeth (twice tonight)...
every second of it
it is priceless...

so yeah I've learned,
24 hours later,
that I really, really want to be a kid again.



Not too much and yet so much to report that I dont really know where to start...it has been a while, I know.

We are keeping busy around here and yet not really doing anything so exciting that I felt it was blog-worthy...but when Mimi and Poppy call to ask for more blog posts, well, you do what Mimi and Poppy ask!

so...let's seeeeeee........


It has rained here with thunderstorms and lightning every afternoon.  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the rain, but man, it makes for some crazy, cooped up kiddos missing playing in the pool or burning off energy in the backyard (and one anxious mama who can't even risk a trip to Target...)

Lauren has been carrying around any and everything in her hands and calling it a baby...this includes her blankets, matchbox cars, stuffed animals and a soccer ball (which she occasionally will call "baw" and throw at you).

Logan has been all about Batman and we get new (cartoon) movies every week from the library.  I really dont know where the obsession started but it is definitely an obsession as sometimes he insists I call him "Batman" and Lauren "Robin"...

I finally signed up for Swagbucks after hearing so many good things about it.  I've been a member since Friday - so far I've earned 79 swagbucks.  I figure as much googling as I do in my job I might as well get something for it, right? (and if you want to help me out and check it out for yourself, go here: http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/hdiggs)

Lauren slept through four straight nights of fireworks this 4th of July...in this neighborhood they dont play around either...we're talking super loud, totally obnoxious fireworks from 8:30 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. for FOUR DAYS and she never even stirred.  Logan, on the other hand, has decided fireworks are tollerable only if they aren't loud (and he can cover his ears) or if they are shaped like a car...(he did have a lot of interest in sparklers though, so he's coming around).

Soccer has become the "fix" for Ryan's football obsession in non-football season....and it is not just because of the World Cup...no, he's been recording games and watching them every night as I fall asleep for months.  (I really should have seen that one coming....)

Our house is still for sale.  No one is even looking right now according to our realtor.  It is going to be a long process I am sure.

Starting tonight I will be watching four kids as our dear friends Jay and Anita get a much-deserved rest and recovery period after some very serious surgery. Anita is a breast cancer survivor and has endured more in the past year than I could ever imagine.  (I am so proud of you, Anita!)  Their sweet kids Ryan and Caroline will be here hanging out for a couple of days and I think we are going to have lots of adventures here at home (since I dont own a minivan....).

Hope you all had a wonderful 4th!